Empowering E-motions

April, 2009

by Angelique Devost

Have you ever watched a baby cry? They express their emotions with their entire body - arms and legs flailing about, wailing with their mouth wide open. And when they're done, isn't it amazing how quickly a smile can return to their adorable little face?

We were born knowing how to fully express pleasure and pain in the moment. From our wails of discomfort to our squeals of delight, we held nothing back. We expressed, and when we were done, we moved on.

At a very young age, the adults in our life began telling us not to be angry, not to cry, not to feel bad, etc. and thus we lost our ability to spontaneously express ourselves in each moment and repression began. I am saddened by the number of adults, male and female, who tell me that they cannot cry, not even when they are alone.

Adults are masters at repressing emotion. Our feelings are energy, and energy needs to move - e-motion = energy in motion. When we repress our emotions, this energy gets trapped in our bodies and manifests as a host of maladies such as tense muscles, migraines, depression, and eventually, disease.

In the past 50 or so years, our lifestyles have become increasingly stressful. Add to that the state of the global economy and the rise in depression and suicide come as no surprise. It is, therefore, critical for our physical, emotional and psychological wellbeing that we learn to express our emotions.

A sense of powerlessness is often at the root of the strong emotions we are afraid to express. We may feel that if we surrender to these scary feelings, we will be pulled into an abyss of emotion from which we may never emerge. In truth, however, surrendering to the emotion and expressing it fully allows us to move through it to a sense of calm. It's not an abyss of emotion so much as it is a tunnel that we must pass through to once again feel healthy and whole.

How can we express our troubling emotions in a healthy manner?

If you are among the majority of people who have difficulty expressing their "negative" emotions, here are some suggestions (I strongly recommend filling your pockets with tissues first):

First of all, if you are feeling really depressed, please seek professional help.
Watching sad movies such as "Terms of Endearment" may be all you need to open the floodgates of tears that will help you release months or years of stress and grief.
Go for a walk out in nature by yourself, find a quiet spot, and immerse yourself in the feelings that you are having about whatever is stressing you - the loss of a loved one, loss of employment, failing relationship, the passing of a family pet.
Call up a good friend or family member who can help you talk through what is troubling you so that you can get the emotional energy moving.
Physical exertion can be very helpful either through exercise or another activity such as stacking wood, but instead of using the activity as a distraction, focus on what is bothering you as you do it.
Detoxify your body. Repressed emotions are actually stored in the tissues of our bodies. When we cleanse our bodies, these emotions are released.

If none of these suggestions sound like they will work for you, trust yourself to know what you need to get your feeling energy moving again. Always express your emotions in a healthy manner. Sharing feelings is very different than dumping your grievances on someone else. Shame, blame and guilt will only add to the stress (yours and the other person's), instead of releasing the trapped energy.

Learn to express your emotions and allow yourself to once again experience that child-like bliss!